Flashes of Panic

I’ve been reading a lot of job angst lately. What do I want to do, what do I like to do, etc. etc. It’s all over the place, so I’m not going to pick on link to individual posts. I’ve been participating, mentally, because I have designs on leaving my perfectly good job and returning to school, but I’m reluctant to put up advice; for reasons which remain a mystery to me, I’ve never had any problem staying employed, and aside from some staggeringly boring summer jobs while still a student, I’ve never had much anxiety about finding work. (Of course, that might be because I’m relatively easy to please, employment-wise; I think I could drive a truck and be happy if I found some challenge in it. I heard a song on the radio this morning about “the Kenworth of my dreams” and knew exactly what he meant.) I don’t feel like I have much to offer in this area, because I honestly don’t know how I do it myself; I just put down roots where I am, suck up what’s in the dirt, and see what kind of flowers I can make.

I think I need to add one bit of personal experience, though.

“Pursue your passion. Then, maybe, you will not distinguish between work and leisure.”

Yeah, OK. Sounds nice. I did that, once. It was fun for a few years; I thought I’d never find a job that great again. Then I found myself unable to distinguish between work and not-work, unable to separate that which I loved and found fun with that which I felt bound to do for hire. I’d turned something I loved into a chore and a burden.

Clearly there are people who can do it; I worked with some of them, and still do.

If you want to make your passion your profession, you need (for one) other channels of release, and you need to not give a damn about the paycheck. If you feel like you’re chained to it, well, it’s not much of a passion anymore.

Now playing: So Alive from Rock N Roll by Ryan Adams