Flashes of Panic

I’m a compulsive reader. If you sit me with nothing to do for more than, say, a minute, I’m either going to start looking for something to read, or go to sleep. As an example, if I’m waiting in an examination room for a doctor’s appointment, I’m reading all the brochures in the rack (even if they don’t apply to me) and not a few medicine bottles.

Here’s the confession: I’m a re-reader. I’m not stuttering, I’m explaining: if I liked a book, and it’s been a year or three since I read it, I’m perfectly happy to pick it up and read it again. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve read some of my favorite books. This isn’t to say that I don’t read new stuff; I have an aunt who is the sort who returns from the library book sale with two (paper) grocery sacks full, and she enjoys digging up new stuff for me to read nearly as much as I enjoy reading it. But every now and then I can’t face anything on the “new” stack, or I’ve got nothing but hardcovers and want to travel with a paperback, so I go back and tear through something older.

One of the consequences of this is that my book stockpile now occupies almost an entire wall of the apartment, and it can be a tad inconvenient when I move (seven times since graduation.) So I try to exercise some population control; I’ve taken boxes of books to two different libraries now. I tried Bookcrossing for a while, but none of my drop-offs has ever been picked up. And I frequently pick up a book I’m about to get rid of, skim it, then find myself rereading it. Maybe it’s really trash and I’m not concerned about seeing it go, but it makes thinning the herd a bit slow.

Usually I get something out of rereading. After a few years I’ve forgotten plot points, but it’s rare that I don’t completely re-imagine some scene I’d left hazy before. Sometimes I reconsider characters completely. I’m a different person and I react to them differently. I’ve found as I get older that I’m less tolerant of poor writing.

Now playing: Custer’s Blues from Too Close To Heaven • The Unreleased Fisherman’s Blues Sessions by The Waterboys