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One more step

The deposit form is filled out. The envelope is addressed, stamped, and clipped to the deposit form. If I put the form in the envelope, and mail it, I will be committed. (More accurately, it will cost me $300 to change my mind.)

Why haven’t I done it yet?

It’s not the feeling that it will be a bad decision. I’ve had two negative responses so far, and the two schools I’m still waiting on aren’t likely to be much different. (I think the fact that I haven’t heard from them yet should be telling me something.) I’ve had a good feeling about this school since I visited there. (Looks like my nickel worked.)

I haven’t heard anything about aid yet, and that worries me a bit. Should I have? I feel like I ought to be waiting out these other two schools, but even if they accepted me, would I choose to go there? If I keep waiting, am I endangering my position at this school?

And, down at the base of it…

I went back to this list and thought about how things have changed. A lot of the things I feared are now moot (the first one, for example.) I added one: I’m so long out of school that I won’t be able to focus on the work and keep up. But the one that makes my hair stand on end is the last one: I’ll be so bound up by the things I’m afraid of that I won’t make it happen at all.

I’ve still got a chance to blow it.

Now Playing: All My Sons from Born of Frustration by James

Posted by pjm on March 31, 2005 2:53 PM |

Comments

Of all the things to worry about when deciding to go to grad school, the one thing you will never need to worry about is being able to do the work. Sure, it might take you a few months to get back into the academic mindset, but if I can take my work-ossified brain and get it back into school-mode, you can too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my grad school experience, it’s never underestimate the value of your undergraduate education. The College is an excellent proving ground for what ever any other place can throw at you.

Grad school is a big change, it’s a big step. Your life will be very different. But that’s a good thing, right? Change is what makes us grow. And there are no perfect decisions. There will be something you don’t like about whatever you choose to do. But there are lots of possibilities for new, good things by choosing grad school.

Even in the midst of all my own struggles, I’m absolutely not sorry that I decided to go. Remember, I’m the one who decided to do the degree while working virtually full-time. That is something I’d never recommend to anyone, but the grad school experience I certainly would, particularly after all the thought you’ve given it.

Posted by: Ms. F | March 31, 2005 3:27 PM

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