Flashes of Panic

Sleepwalking through the security screening, thankful I was sharp enough this time not to walk through the metal detector with my cell phone (that got me wanded once last year,) I saw a lighter on the table. Someone had discarded it, because they aren’t allowed through security and onto planes.

A few minutes ago, however, I realized that I am still in possession of my keychain, which includes one of those wonderful Leatherman Micras. I’ve had one of those confiscated before, so I know it’s contraband.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the federal government is Keeping Our Airlines Safe. From smokers, apparently.

Either that, or they knew the odds of me actually getting on a plane today are, at best, even.