Flashes of Panic

I won’t remember this if I don’t write it down.

This is the week when things are falling into place. I’m not going to claim I’m not swamped, or that I’m not still in need of hard work and concentration to stay on top of things. But I can see that I am not only learning new and interesting things, but that my classes and my work outside class is hooking together. The pieces feed each other and work together. I’m finding entirely new ways of thinking about problems, in the same way that I’m finding entirely new routes to run.

There’s a little euphoria that comes with that, because it’s the proof that I made the right decision: that it was a good idea to leave my job and go back to school, no matter how much work it is (and what a massive pay cut it was.)

I make decisions like that too easily, sometimes, because so far I haven’t made one which has proved to be really wrong. It may be that the confidence born of so many right decisions makes me better able to make more of them; it may be that the confidence allows me to make wrong decisions into right ones. Either way, it’s nice to feel like I’m on the right path, even if I don’t know where it ends.

Now Playing: Blackbirds from Distillation by Erin McKeown