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No, you really aren't too slow

I’m going to quote verbatim from another blog now, because he’s articulated something that I’ve noticed a lot while trying to bring other CS grad students out on our weekly runs. (There are two of us who run regularly, and three others who sometimes join us. And plenty more who sort of wish they could join us, but… read on.)

i have the same problem with people going on runs, and it always bother me. it usually goes like this: people mention that they are going for a run sometime in the near future, or that they want to start running soon. so, i mention that i would like to run with them if they would like company. then - almost invariably - whomever i’m talking to says that they’d be too slow for me (remembering that i’m a track and cross country runner). this is where i get frustrated. it’s exactly because i’m an experienced runner that i know exactly how slow and how fast people are, so i know exactly what i’m getting into when i suggest that i join them for a run (that is, if they want to). i know that they’re probably not going to run as fast or as long as i can, and they may not even want to. in fact, if i was intending on a very hard, long, serious run, i probably wouldn’t have offered to run with whomever i’m in a conversation with. but, that’s not what i’m offering; i’m offering to join them on their run. it’s nice to have company. that’s all i’m offering, and there’s no illusion in my mind that i’m intending they run at whatever capacity they think i run at. i’m asking to run with them, and i know exactly what that means.

Of course, he’s using this as an illustration of another concept; this is not limited to running. (My own other example: “I’m not good at math.”)

Posted by pjm on June 8, 2006 12:49 PM |

Comments

I can totally relate to this.

Posted by: Joe B. | June 8, 2006 8:10 PM

Doesn’t he realize that it’s got nothing to do with him? It’s all about the person who is saying it. It’s more than speed. It’s personal space, personal comfort, etc. It’s not all about him…

Posted by: Julia | June 9, 2006 9:52 AM

I’ve about figured out that it’s really a way of saying “I don’t want to commit to a run”, and doing so while actually giving the one asking a compliment.

But I have absolutely NO intention, whatsoever, of mentioning the incredible irony in seeing Julia’s response to this post, after her telling me for three years that she was too slow to run with me. Nope, you won’t hear a peep out of me. Not a word :)

jim p.

Posted by: Jim Puckett | June 9, 2006 10:44 AM

But Julia, wouldn’t the appropriate answer then be, “Thanks, but I prefer to run alone?”

I think he realizes perfectly well that it’s not all about him. Did you read his whole post?

Posted by: pjm | June 9, 2006 11:42 AM

I too can relate to this post. However, the author seems surprised that the novice runners he encounters don’t understand his perspective, and I find that surprising. Most novices that I’ve met have many misconceptions about “serious” runners such as myself. For example, they assume (until I tell them otherwise) that I run the same distance at the same pace every day and that I always push myself really hard (because I’m so serious about it, right?). They don’t necessarily think about the importance of easy recovery days or the importance of varying one’s workouts to keep things fun.

I get the same “Oh, I’m too slow to run with you” line all the time, but it’s not a big deal to me. In all likelihood, the novice runner simply does not know enough about hard-core runners to realize that most of us are happy to slow down once in a while. (If he did know that sort of thing, he probably wouldn’t be a novice.) Patiently explaining this to the novice is the only solution that I know of.

Posted by: crowther | June 9, 2006 2:38 PM

OMG this is so funny. Yup. Ms Kim used to say the same thing to me. Of course I never listened to her and we all know where that got me….

Posted by: Joe B | June 9, 2006 10:03 PM

Ugh. Of course I read the post. I think. Can’t remember,really.

Regardless, I have said that. I do truly prefer to run alone. I hate having a crowd around me. And the talking. I can’t think while running much less listen to people yammer on and on while doing so.

Posted by: Julia | June 10, 2006 12:03 PM

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