Flashes of Panic

When I was at the peak of my competitiveness, it was pretty easy to figure out who my competition would be in any given race: I’d line up, start, and see who was with me. Nowadays, when I’m having a good day if I beat the first women, let alone run with the very front of the race, I’ve found myself picking targets based on their choice of racing attire.

So, if you’re male and wearing any of the following in a race, I will be making an effort to ensure you finish behind me:

• Shorts that reach your knees (this isn’t a basketball game)
• Pants (warmup should have been done a while ago)
• Headphones
• Any sort of knee brace or other straps

I actually took over a mile, on Sunday, to catch one guy who was wearing three out of four.

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