Flashes of Panic

Why finish high school? So you, too, can go to the alumni swim meet and cheat like mad.

This was my second time at the meet as an alum, and no mention was made of the team’s status as defending state champions. Alumni were announced by name and class year, the list followed by, “and those guys are the swim team.”

Events are largely whimsical, and they’re all relays. What’s important here is that the alumni—including the coach—are aware of this, and do whatever necessary to stay more or less even or slightly ahead of the current team. Sometimes this isn’t necessary; some of us are still legitimately fast. Others… well, on at least one occasion, as I waited to tag off on a relay, the coach leaned over to me and said, “Go now, and dive under him.”